It's our five-year (OK, TECHNICALLY five-year and 2.5-month, give us a break) anniversary special, and we've put together a selection of the podcast's most hilarious stories for some of our favorite guests. Have a laugh at some of our best moments... or, if you're new around here, this is an awesome sampling of what you've been missing. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guests Anthony Carboni, Jack DeVries, Mike Drucker, Mitch Dyer, Andrew Goldfarb, Ryan McCaffrey, Greg Miller, Colin Moriarty, Jared Petty, Zach Ryan, Dan Ryckert, Adam Sessler, Marty Sliva, and Jackie Talbott.

The Winter Bear is here to help you ring in the holidays! Time for some festive manscaping, dumb '90s toys, and some of the the worst trading cards ever brought to market. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Max gets something off his chest -- literally. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

In true kidult fashion, Max had his big 30th birthday party in fabulous Las Vegas, and it was... pretty much the most depressing thing ever. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Marty Sliva guest-hosts to help us figure out the science of ghost-busting. And, yes, given the show that you're listening to, "ghost-busting" means exactly what you think it means. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Ryan Scott, with special guest Marty Sliva.

Forties: How do they work? Gin: Satan's gasoline? Fast food: What are our top fives? Yep, we only ask the hard questions here. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Max Scoville, with special guests Jared Petty and Dan Ryckert.

We have some hot cuck theories to share, you guys. Also, breaking news: You probably shouldn't use that word, because it turns out that only the most awful people use it. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Ryan Scott, with special guest Marty Sliva.

This week, we envision a futuristic theme park where racists can act out their most ignorant fantasies, discuss Max and Brian's trip to New York, suggest healthy recipes for an ogre diet, and do possibly the world's worst impression of Jon Voight. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Who's your favorite tennis player? Ours is Anaconda Kournikova. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

What's our favorite Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles porn? Were the Gobots really that bad? Who would play us in a Comedy Button movie? What were the best USA Network shows, BESIDES Burn Notice? Yes, these are the burning questions. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Hey, pro tip for life: DON'T HAVE A WEDDING ON A HOLIDAY WEEKEND. We promise, your friends and family definitely don't like you that much. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

What would our last meal on death row be? You should definitely know better than to ask us a question like that. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

It's our quarter-millennium milestone -- and the end of an era, as our pal Anthony rides off into the sunset. It'll be OK, we promise! Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Turns out, cereal monsters are the stupidest kinds of monsters, because they don't make any god damned sense. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Good news, everyone: Scott inadvertently figured out how to troll jukebox-equipped bars across the United States, from the comfort of your own homes. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

These idiots all think that they can replace Ryan Scott with a Ryan Scott sound board, but YOU CAN'T REPLACE RYAN SCOTT! After all, who would write these episode descriptions? Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, and Max Scoville.

We get intimate with our old pal Applejack, find some creative uses for a kangaroo pouch, debate the world's scariest cereal mascot, and learn all about Max's experience as a schoolyard witch. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Guest hosts Andrew Goldfarb and Zach Ryan sit in to tell us about the European vacation they went on with Brian. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, and Max Scoville, with special guests Andrew Goldfarb and Zach Ryan.

Get ready for our hot new sitcom, "Curiosity: The Mars Robot." Or maybe "Mars: The Curiosity Robot." We don't actually know how TV works. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Max adopts a blind goose, Brian encounters a street terrorist armed with Red Bull, and Anthony shares his favorite meal to beat the summer heat: a nice hot bowl of soup. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Guest host and celebrity ghost Vincent Price briefly joins us, as Scott recalls his whirlwind tour across Europe and picks a fight with Australia. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Brian played a live game of Double Dare, and Max hung out with DMX in a hotel parking lot. Yes, these are both things that happened in 2016. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Our friend Chastity Vicencio joins us to talk about what it was like working for Jimmy Fallon, how she almost became a teen pop sensation, and that one time that comedian Tracy Morgan awkwardly hit on her. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guest Chastity Vicencio.

Firemen have the easiest job in the world, except for those few hours a year where they really, really don't. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

The podcast's one sane man attempts to explain Doctor Who to a bunch of people who cannot even begin to understand how awesome it is. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Our pal Jared Petty joins us this week to talk about all the delicious candy that takes us back to the good old days. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, and Max Scoville, with special guest Jared Petty.

Mike Drucker joins us once again, to brag about how smart he was in high school -- so smart, in fact, that one time someone pulled a gun on him. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, and Max Scoville, with special guest Mike Drucker.

We know we're shameless pawns of the patriarchy when we say this, but man, living with naked women sure is cool. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Anthony Gallegos, with special guest Zach Ryan.

Everyone, we found out some hot dirty news about Toad and Frog. It involves the F-word a lot. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, and Max Scoville, with special guest Jared Petty.

Mike Drucker sits in for Ryan this week -- and he and Brian have a serious talk about Florida, the Everglades, and why Forrest Gump secretly sucks. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, and Max Scoville, with special guest Mike Drucker.

Guest hosts Alanah Pearce and Zach Ryan stop by to help us figure out how many bands old we are, and which celebrities we could most convincingly pretend to be. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Anthony Gallegos, with special guests Alanah Pearce and Zach Ryan.

It's time for your latest episode of Max Scoville's Yucky Boobies Monthly, everybody. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Our best friend for life, Applejack, makes his triumphant return this week, before we get really sad about the deaths of NYC's Toys R Us and FAO Schwarz. And have you ever wondered if a horse can throw up? We Google the answer LIVE, because we're all about the facts here. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

The one and only Jack DeVries is back to give us the latest scoop on his love life, express his love for watching animated movies while under the influence, and help us discover some weird (and some even true) Presidential facts. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guest Jack DeVries.

The '90s were... weird. They were very, very weird. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, and Max Scoville.

It's historical fact week! Did you know that ninjas used cat eyes to tell time? Or that cowboys used to have to get... creative in how they visualized landmarks, while they were spending some quality alone-time? We wouldn't believe these things ourselves, if we hadn't just made them up! Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, and Max Scoville.

We attempt to explain American politics to an Australian, via Dragon Ball Z and Pokemon references. Which... sounds about right these days. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, and Max Scoville, with special guest Alanah Pearce.

This week, we podcast because Scott's new cat LETS us podcast. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, and Max Scoville.

When our wives get together, they talk about actual things, while (presumably) plotting against us. When we get together, we talk about rat deathmatches and two-donged men. All is right with the world. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

When the worst things happen in life, the best thing to do is to surround yourself with the people who make you the happiest. A very special episode of The Comedy Button. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

This week, we've got a couple of awesome guest stars here to give you some hot ASMR videos and a long-awaited Snakequake update. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Max Scoville, with special guests Anthony Carboni and Trisha Hershberger.

Comedian and Tonight Show With Jimmy Fallon writer Mike Drucker joins us to discuss the fake history of the world's worst musical instrument, how to deal with a commute full of crazy people, and getting a massage from a sloth. Then, Scott finally visits a country other than America, only to realize that he never should have left. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guest Mike Drucker.

We pretend to be cavemen that have to hunt for our own food with a tennis racket, learn we don't know anything about Russia, and wonder if those damn teens will end up being nostalgic for Shrek. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Who likes truck fights? WE LIKE TRUCK FIGHTS. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK, we've got some dirty, dirty duck tales for you. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Anthony has started up a bad bromance with returning guest host Jared Petty, who conjures up some old southern twang to tells us some tales. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guest Jared Petty.

We don't understand YouTube. Or the Internet. Or modern dating. Or anything, really. Send help! Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guest Marty Sliva.

Only '10s kids will understand these amazing William Howard Taft facts! Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guest Marty Sliva.

Pro tip: If you light yourself on fire, just look for some water to jump in or something. Those fire extinguishers are a pain to work with. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Max went to Vietnam and had himself a big ol' nightmare vacation. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

When we were kids, they always promised us candy and orange slices after we played those dumb sports. So yeah, you're darn right we played them. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

So, stop us if you've heard this one already: Star Wars. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Anthony Gallegos, and Ryan Scott.

We were going to make some New Year's resolutions, but we got distracted by all of Klasky Csupo's insane-looking '90s cartoon characters. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.