Get ready for Hollywood's next big thing: the Cereal Mascot Cinematic Universe. The Trix Rabbit. Captain Crunch. Count Chocula. That dumbass Honey Nut Cheerios Bee. That shrieking vermin that's always always after the Honeycomb. Wendell the Baker. All your favorites, together, on the big screen, at last. The Comedy Button (this episode, anyway) is Brian Altano and Max Scoville, drunk in a hotel room in Anaheim. (We apologize in advance for the unusually crummy audio quality; it's the end of the year and we're out of brain power.)

Our awesome guest host, Kristin Van De Yar, is a true worldwide phenomenon. Also, we've discovered the most awesome life hack for getting out of jury duty: Just commit a crime, and you're home free forever. Take THAT, civic duty! Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Max Scoville, with special guest Kristin Van De Yar.

Is it possible to record the world's longest, stupidest outro to a dumb Internet radio show? Well, we certainly did give it a shot. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

YouTube creator and talent manager John Carle used to write for the WWE -- and boy, does he have some crazy tales for us. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guest John Carle.

One of our favorite guest hosts, Jared Petty, joins us to ponder Goofy's questionable dog-hood and discuss everybody's favorite dumb fantasy story, THE LOOOOORD OF THE RIIIIIINGS. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Max Scoville, with special guest Jared Petty.

It's Thanksgiving with the Comedy Button -- which obviously means it's time to hide from your family and listen to us talk about Easter baskets, Nick at Nite, Ace Ventura, and the worst flavor of Skittles. Yep, happy holidays! Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Max Scoville.

We dig into the wild and crazy mind of guest host Jared Petty, learn all about his weird surprise allergies, and and then talk about the legacy of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. In other words: Just another week! Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Max Scoville, with special guest Jared Petty.

Seasonal Affective Disorder is a serious disorder that affects millions of people every season, but we've got a great solution for coping with it: going out in the woods and hiding porno for future generations of perverts to discover. Or, you could just listen to our idiotic podcast for degenerates. We're sorry. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

We're apparently very hungry boys, because this episode is all about hot dogs, pretzels, pizza, nacho cheese, soda, and Tootsie Roll Pops. Of course, we also find time to discuss the Mighty Ducks, strip clubs, owls, and punching holes in our bedroom walls as teenagers. Starring Brian Altano, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Welcome to the Comedy Button's Halloween Thanksgiving Special -- a cornucopia of spooky facts about mummies, meatballs, and celebrity spelunking. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Max Scoville.

We've got the lowdown on career Renaissance faire yeomen (and #yeowomen), and what could happen if they ever enact stricter gun control laws on whatever planet the Predator came from. Starring Brian Altano, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Get ready for a critical, chin-stroking discussion about our very favorite warning label: that wacky cartoon staple, the skull-and-crossbones. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Introducing Starchy, the world's #1 potato super-fan, and Al'ekz J'on'zz of the River Folk, the star of Middle-earth: Shadow of Infowars. Starring Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guest Marty Sliva.

It's our landmark 300th episode! What better way to celebrate this milestone than reminiscing about the world's first podcast circa 1910, wondering what our pets think of our poops, and trying to figure out exactly WTF a goulash even is. In other words, we're awful at celebrating milestones. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

This week, we discuss the three founding founders of modern comedy: Pauly Shore, Adam Sandler, and Ed (that fictional baseball-playing monkey from that movie with Matt LeBlanc). We also talk about quicksand, silo explosions, Pecos Bill, popcorn, pizza conventions, action figures, and which form of transportation we'd live in. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Max Scoville. In loving memory of Ryan Scott, another tragic victim of quicksand.

We don't know much about babies, but we definitely know a lot about terrible restaurants and dumb cereal box prizes. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Scott went to Michigan again, and... well, Michigan still sucks, everybody. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Max Scoville.

What do you do when you're in Germany? Well, if you're Brian Altano, you visit a haunted puppet shop and bring your friends a loot crate filled with garbage. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Max Scoville.

In what is clearly our best episode ever, Ryan hijacks show-hosting duties to explain how he and his father were jointly unable to figure out how a microwave works. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

For your consideration, we present "Ryan Orders Room Service: A Short Play." Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Our pal Jack DeVries joins us to answer what is by far the weirdest and darkest dating question we've ever considered. Welcome to the HORROR BUTTON. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Max Scoville, with special guest Jack DeVries.

Marty Sliva tells us what it's like to be a pub trivia master, and bonds with Ryan over their shared useless knowledge of the Saw film series. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Ryan Scott, with special guest Marty Sliva.

Welcome to the Comedy Button... now co-hosted by an Emmy award-nominated producer! One more item off the bucket list. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Ryan Scott, with special guest Marty Sliva.

Facebook is a bunch of spam bots, the Internet is full of clickbait, and computers ruin everything. Now listen to our podcast about dumb dishes and stupid awful food. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Don't do drugs, kids -- otherwise you'll find yourselves in conversations about Goosebumps, dank memes, Zelda sex toys, and pineapple pangus. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Anthony Gallegos returns! Our old friend's been dealing in shady second-hand motorcycles, nursing a growing collection of pests, and gearing up to participate in a medical study where he gets pumped full of drugs for money. Some things never change. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guest Anthony Gallegos.

Our pal Jared Petty stops by to tell us about some super-bodacious skeletons and siiiiiiiiick Trapper Keeper designs. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guest Jared Petty.

We get all sexy with our ASCII skills, and Brian tells us about his latest weird trip to Japan. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Little-known fact: 1705 was a great year. We wouldn't believe it either, if we hadn't just made that up. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Marty Sliva is here to help us figure out whether Limp Bizkit vocalist Fred Durst was cool, and reminisce about our favorite fictional portrayals of that hilarious go-to comedy bit, depression. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville with special guest Marty Sliva.

We're sick of all those old, stale, crusty mom jokes... so we've got some real, real good dad jokes for you instead. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

This week, we join in on the adventures of the world's most oblivious farmer/zookeeper, and stuff some old dusty mummies in some loot crates. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Brian becomes our resident astronomer, Ryan shares his favorite peanut butter recipes, and Scott reminisces about how incredibly lawsuit-prone the Jelly Belly Factory used to be. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Let's go to Disney World, get drunk at Epcot Center, and laugh at alligators (AKA nature's car accidents). Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Max Scoville, with special guest Jack DeVries.

Want to indulge in exotic eateries, and dine on strange and unusual offerings of the fast food gods? Just get in your car and drive, like, an hour, dude. These are the weird and bizarre fast food restaurants we've been to... and want to go to. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Local Animorphs expert Jack DeVries stops by to chat about his leaked noodz and weird upcoming Australian furry gathering. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Max Scoville, with special guest Jack DeVries.

It's pet week here at the Comedy Button -- where Brian has a close encounter with a real-life Double Dragon character's dog, Ryan shares his future animal jail's floor plans, and we wonder if snakes are tax deductible for business purposes. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Nick Robinson joins us once again to tell us the secrets of running an underground DDR club and how arcades rules the world. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Max Scoville, with special guest Nick Robinson.

How much does it cost to buy the world's largest Cheeto? What's the best celebrity voice and animal combination? And why does anyone still love Sonic the Hedgehog? Nobody asked these questions, but you're damn sure we have the answers anyway. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Max Scoville, with special guest Nick Robinson.

Some things change, and some things never do. Like all the swears. Boy, do we like all that cussing. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Real-life pro chef Andy Lunique is on hand to teach Ryan... nothing. Absolutely nothing. It's hopeless. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guest Andy Lunique.

We don't know what dating is like, since we're all old and married... but our favorite cool sitcom character Zach Ryan is here to educate us. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Max Scoville, with special guest Zach Ryan.

Anthony Carboni drops by for a Snakequake update, Andi Gutierrez reflects on handling social media for major brands, and we debate whether we'd rather spend the night on an inflatable mattress or inside a haunted school bus. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guests Anthony Carboni and Andi Gutierrez.

The always-positive Jared Petty joins us once again to reminisce about the random grab-bag of treasures that was the physical video rental store. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guest Jared Petty.

Our pal Marty Sliva definitely has some first-hand experience with a particular kind of snake on a plane. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guest Marty Sliva.

Our wonderful friend Jared Petty drops by to share his unbridled optimism in the midst of this stupid, broken world. Also: Horses are scary, body-switching comedies are cool, and circus peanuts suck. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guest Jared Petty.

Our pal Mike Drucker drops by to talk about buying games drunk, all the stupid dumb politics, and writing science stuff for Bill Nye. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, and Max Scoville, with special guest Mike Drucker.

It's time for some fashion tips with the Comedy Button! We're here to tell you what hat goes best with your crushing insecurity, the one time that you don't look fully stupid in shorts, and how many Internet tutorials it takes to tie a tie. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville, with special guest Marty Sliva.

Don't look behind the curtain of the fun things that you enjoy, unless you want to be scarred for life like us! Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Fun fact: Even the most awful and idiotic creations on Earth can, against all rational odds, garner at least a few fans. Yes, that's right... some of us really liked GoBots when we were young and stupid. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

It's just another week at the Comedy Button... which means we're counting down our favorite Kevin James movies (spoiler: it's none of them), being haunted by the ghost of Luther Vandross, and coming up with much better names for all the Lion King characters. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.

Guess which number is higher: The number of bad movies we forced our parents to take us to see as kids, or the number of food items that Ryan has successfully made during his three-and-some-change decades on planet Earth. Starring Brian Altano, Scott Bromley, Ryan Scott, and Max Scoville.